dear world. I wish to laugh until I pee.

A new year, a new lease on life, endless possabilities to create a bright future for tomorrow.

Utter rubbish and I don't believe a word of it, but, if you would be so kind to pay me for the endless ramblings in my own mind, I would be oh so happy to string some words together that would at least, for a moment, have you believing in the depth of your heart that it was true.   

 By Andrew

Mayhaps takeing more walks outside should be one of my new years resolutions, and one of my goals should be to regularly post the CRAP comics I've been hoarding for years, instead of ripping them up, right away,

for they are the stupid, and dumb, 

and do not shine as brightly as the gold in the books that I do so love to reread, 

Over, 

And over,

And over,

again, 

and again, 

In different times of my life,

As though I was Bell in a small town, with a collective library of 20 books.

But I mean

Some people just know their comedy shit.

And, and, and,

I wish also to produce the comedy shit,

That will make you laugh until you pee.

I Want to make you laugh until you pee.

And you know what I get after ripping up a bunch of the shit that will make you say this, like Andrew dose say of I ?

Also, for the record this Andrew fellow keeps popping up in my head, I wish he would write more but, you know, he's busy

Melmc

"What's your new years resolution?" Karen asked Marsie

"Less TV and Internet."  Marsie replied takeing a bite of an open faced sandwich she had put in the oven to melt the cheese.  The edges where burnt,  the cheese unmelted, and crumbs scattered onto the tablecloth the moment she sank her teath in with a loud satisfying crunch. Karen blew on her tea.

"I hear that's not how you should do them" 

She said.

"What do you mean?"

"That if you make a resolution that cuts something out of your life it will only lead to a new bad habit."

"And the alternative?"

"You replace less with more.  So,Instead of less TV, you say, I will go on more walks."

"What if I don't want more.  What if all I want is less." Marsie glared as she rubbed crumbs from the corner of her mouth.

"Then you are doomed to failure"  

"Well whether or not I want that, it seems to find me, let's just settle for less and beat the stress."

Alanna:  I want to make the funnies.  

Whinny:  How will you make the funnies? 

Alanna:  I live and breath the funnies.  I exist and the funny finds me.

Whinny:  How are you sure it is funny?

Alanna:  Trust me.  I know the funny.

Whinny: but I'm not laughing.

Alanna: you just don't get it yet.

Whinny: like a joke about vorgons? 

Alanna: Or by, and about.

Whinny: oh all jokes about vorgons are funny.

Alanna: .......... you are not the funny Whinny.   Trust me.

Whinny:  Well you would know.

Say Hello Comics MK 3 Debuting this May at VanCaf

www.sayhellocomic.com

Website is up and operational.  It just took months to make!

I was not able to get a table at VanCaf.  Alas, how is a weirdo, with nothing else to do, suppose to start a comic choir with absolutely no digital presence to lead the masses to our small dark hovel in the internet?

Well they go to the convention and hand out free shit.

BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES FREE SHIT!

We will be there, you will see us, and you will talk to the weirdo with a puppet. 

www.sayhellocomic.com

The adventures of melmc

I went to Vancouver this week for a medical appointment.  Afterwards I met with a friend and told him about my plans for Say Hello Comics.  Essentially Im practicing basic marketing and networking skills but in the safe loving arms of familiarity.  "Ive known you for years, but we rarely meet and talk,  I get to hear about your adventures, eat pizza, and you'll tell me the best places to put up flyers?"  THIS!  This is how comfortable I want to feel when I hand out resumes and network with people.  BREATH MEL BREATH!

I walked around Vancouver and risked breaking some laws by putting up fliers.  An activity that would of caused me no pain three years ago left me on the floor of my hostel stretching in pain.  The next day I tried useing some oral THC spray to relieve the pain.  It was marginally effective, took off the edge, but Im not fond of walking around a strange town with my brain in a mild haze.

I have realized the simple beauty of the name 'Say Hello',  which by the way was the original name of my comic on drunk duck back in 2009, originally I chose the name because I had no idea where I wanted to go with the comics.   With a name like Say Hello I felt free to be as random as possible.  What I did not expect was complete strangers to walk up to me, take one look at the poster, and say hello.

Honestly!!!

THIS THE BEST NAME EVER!!!!!!!    IM A GENIUS!!!  The name does half the work for me!  Which is just perfect for a shy loudmouth like me.  Now to wait for the submissions to flow in.   Thats right people.  Im doing this for people to join my ranks of wannabe webcartoonist status.  You have no webcomic of your own, want to draw traffic to your personal webcomic but have a comic that dosnt work with your brand, you want to share your heart with the world but your afraid to put your name on it (we accept anonomouse submissions.), send the comics to me!  create a write up, artist statement, and link to your personal work.  dodooooooo ittttt!!!!!

All I ask is you dont send me sexies jokes.
I understand none of the sexy jokes.
I want to write my own.
Seriouse.
IM 32!

The Plan pt4

Their is no sanctuary in true darkness. Also don't drink tea near your art.

A pause as the two parties stair at each other

AND THEN NINJA DEER APPEARS!  

She crashes through the stained glass window into the middle of the wolves!

The planner and The plan make a daring escape as the monsters behind them overtake the church.

*sigh* This comic is never going to be done.

Insert epic battle sequence.

A chain reaction.

Ninja deer escapes out the window with the babies.  The plan and the planner crash through the floorboards and into a cavern below. . . . .  such shoddy craftsmanship, probably not up to code.

And here the plan and the planner stayed 2012-2018.

Thats too long for any self insertion diary comic to be lost for.

To be fair 2012-2015 was a great time in my life.  I started working as a landscaper, taking adult basic education courses for the fun of it.  I learned that I wasn't as stupid as I thought I was in high school.  If I have the time, make some adjustments to how things are presented, I can get good marks in biology and even chemistry.  Math though!  ugh, I understand it better now, but its not me.  After the car accidnt I took some more courses incase I couldnt go back into landscaping with the plan to get into labratory tecnology.  Math mark still wasnt up to standard.  

Today I feel like my two trapped underground with no light or way to get out.

Script:

The egg is cracked and the planner drags him through the tunnel system.  They are guided by bioluminescent mushrooms growing off the floor.  As they reach an exit, in the distance, a lone wolf howls. 

Script:

Dispaire sometimes comes in the light after a fight.  

So long as I have hope by my side 

on the wings of the plan I can ride.  

Mel:

I'm not there today.  

I'm still lost, 

the city doesn't need me, 

the sea drowns me, 

my forest offers no sanctuary,

and I don't know where to fly to next.

Another day.  Another day.  

I keep getting up in the hopes hope will stay.

Although I dont know where I am,

and soil slips through my hands like grains of sand.

I do what I can, where I am, with what I have.

Get up, get up, get up, get up,

Its the one thing Ive always been good at.

The Plan pt3

I have spent my 20's in search of a holy grail, a Jabberwalky, a Loch nest monster.  A fantastical being of untold splendor and majesty.

The desire for her haunts me still but my faith, hope, and peace does it kill.

When you work on a secret love in the shadows no one can see what it does to you.  How it pierces your heart.  Some can hide in the light of day.  Go to work and throw passion away.  Not me.  I need it to see me through but I often feel like a half baked fool.  Never enough to get to the top.  I'm told to be happy, go to the mall and shop.

We all need a friend willing to talk sense.

Because sirens glitter and can lead us astray.

This one though I never will part.  For its a construct that reflects my heart.

SO CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!

Love Letters to Comics: EmiTown

Emi town.

God EmiTown I loved the weight of your lines and the movement you made in the trench comics.  I cant free up my hand enough to capture that.  In stick figures, yes, in the finished product, no.  Your drawings are where I want mine to go.  The color pallet you use is subtle!  Man!  I love bright colors!  So its so hard to put my colors on mute.  I WANT THEM ALL.  The fact that you can keep it tame.  I wish I had written to you when you where working on the comics.  While I was reading them but I was working on ME and fixing my life.  Trying to get SOMEWHERE.  But I always felt like my plan entering the woods.  THE PLAN did not want to go into the woods, he was scared of what was there he wanted to turn around.  YOU WHERE THE GIRL THEN, you where a soldiure going where I was afraid to go.  Didnt know what was at the end but you saw the destination put on your game face and went into the darkness.  I have mad respect for you. MAD RESPECT.  I dont have the time to go back and reread your comics and tell you EVERYTHING that made me read your comics then but thats what I remember.   RESPECT.  You are far more awesome than I.

The plan Pt2

Every journey starts with a single step.

Not all who wonder are lost.

Although the darkness makes awful sounds.  I choose to walk into the forest.

I don't know what the end result will be so I choose to bring a friend with me.  It may be a person, It may be a book, It may be a journal, but I'm never alone.

Plans.  I am a maker of plans.  I find the right books, I draw up the maps, but myself I tend to put last.  Often I fall and need to take a rest.  For I am a marcher.  A troop-er they call a stoop-er. In this world we think the runners are the best.  Ive tired to keep up, to keep my heart locked in a chest, to give it only to those I love best.
It ain't me babe. It ain't me.

I want to be the one that will call others to come, 

that gives you joy at the end of the day, 

but my shadows of doubt are here to stay.  

I cant cast them out,

for in the middle of their shroud,

is enough common sense to go around.  

I cant bur-read them into the ground.  

For when I do new nutrients are found.  

So comedy I need you,

I would love to feed you.  

Most days all I can do is call out and say,

"I love you."

 I do.  

So I don't care when a friend uses me as a hook.  

As long as their kind and have a sound mind.  

Although I may need you to take a step back.  

For my monsters look for any open crack.

A small hole where they could take hold,

 send me to hell,

 where they think I should go.  

Oh, what a funny bumble bee I would be,

if the darkness would finally swallow me.  

In the dark I would grow

into a firefly

and 

I would glow.  

Yes they would hide me,

 so I would not be found, 

By the other souls they tore down,

But where there is light the world can turn around.

When we sow our hope into the ground.

I LOVE GARDENING MAN!
LOVE IT!
NEED IT!
WANT TO FEED IT!
PTHHHHHHH!!!
RASPBERRY!
RASPBERRY TART!
CAN HELP YOUR HEART RESTART!
YESSSSSSSS!
NEED TO PLANT RASPBERRY BUSHES!

I want to blow raspberry's at the darkness!
Booooo darkness!
You think my light is for you!
NOOOOOOOOO!
MINE!